(scroll for a sneak peak of a cover mock up)
I have big news to share and thought you all would like to know because if you’re receiving this email, you have made a purchase through my website and/or subscribed to receive email communications.
My partner Stephen and I have been working on a book that is tentatively titled Becoming Egalitarian. (We say tentatively because we’re also thinking about something like Becoming Egalitarian Partners or Becoming Equal Partners.) In this book, we examine our limited (and limiting) beliefs about marriage and gender roles. We begin with how and why we were complementarians and then how and why our theology shifted to egalitarianism.
[Before I go any further, I’ll quickly share a definition of these terms so we’re all on the same page. On her blog, the late Rachel Held Evans wrote a “Week of Mutuality” series in 2012. She explained that Christians who identify as complementarians believe that the Bible requires Christian women to submit to male leadership in the home, church (and, according to some), society. She also wrote that another name for egalitarianism is mutuality and explained that Christians who identify as egalitarian usually believe that Christian women enjoy equal status and responsibility with men in the home, church, and society, and that teaching and leading God’s people should be based on giftedness rather than gender.]
If you liked As Familiar as Family, this new book will, in some ways, be a continuation of AFAF and a deeper dive into an aspect of my life that people wanted to know more about: my relationship with Stephen. Becoming Egalitarian is a completed manuscript about two former complementarians who embrace partnership and find healing.
In February, a team of beta readers read through the first draft of our forthcoming book. Over the past month and a half, we’ve been implementing their feedback to write the book we needed to read years ago, the book that we want to get into the hands of others like us. In honor of our 15th anniversary since we began dating in 2008, our goal is to self-publish by September. To make this happen, we need you. Seriously, it can’t happen without people like you partnering with us!
Self-publishing means we are financially responsible for the professional editing, typesetting, cover design, distribution, and marketing of Becoming Egalitarian. With that said, we are running a Kickstarter campaign and inviting people to contribute and help us bring this book into the world. Since I have experience with self-publishing, I have the next steps mapped out. First up is sending the manuscript to writing + book coach Kim Marsh for the initial round of editing. We will also be talking with several people about cover design, typesetting, and securing assistance with marketing.
This process will take about 20 weeks to complete. If everything goes according to schedule, the book will be out by the end of September 2023. There are 5 backer levels where you can get involved that range from $10 to $75 or more. By contributing, you’ll receive a copy of the book once it’s published for tiers 2 -5 and get access to everything else in the tier you select, but only if this project is fully funded. We have until 5:00 PM EDT on April 30, 2023 to meet our goal of $2,400. We’re already over 20% of the way there, thanks to some of you receiving this email as well as others who have contributed.
If this project sounds like something you’d like to invest in and be a part of bringing into the world, visit https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/nickipappas/becoming-egalitarian-book-project. Please spread the word. Without people like you, it will be much harder for this book to be published. After conversations with the beta readers, I am even more convinced that this book needs to be published because I have the audacity to believe that all of our stories are worth telling, even, and maybe especially, the stories of "regular" people!
Becoming Egalitarian is mine and Stephen’s story, but it’s not just our story.
There are untold numbers of people who have been impacted by limiting beliefs about marriage and gender roles, beliefs that prop up an unhealthy power dynamic. We have found that by actively dismantling the hierarchy in our relationship, we could become true partners. Becoming Egalitarian isn’t an answer book. Rather, this is a vulnerable and authentic exploration of how we have a healthier partnership when operating from a place of mutuality. We want to help guide others into healthy partnerships where all parties are fulfilled apart from codependency and enmeshment.
If you have any questions, you can fill out the contact form here. Thank you for your support!